Everything I Know About Life I Learned From A Girl

I sat cross-legged on the floor of my niece’s room, paying careful attention to her as she pointed out all of the new additions and changes she’d made in her bedroom. My niece’s bedroom – her haven away from the rest of the world – is “all diva”, her special place to be alone, so when she invited me in, I felt honored.

The little diva actually has a doorbell for her bedroom. I “oooh” and “aaah” over the beaded curtain at the entryway, the pink princess netting above her headboard complete with acrylic hand painted butterflies. The stenciled butterflies on her wall. Her mother, my sister’s, handiwork I have no doubt. My niece is truly a diva, not that it’s a bad thing!

While surveying her treasures, I picked up the small handbag that my niece was pointing out to me. “That’s new too,” she said, moving on to something else. Nestled on the front of the sparkly sequined handbag was a small plastic see-thru pocket, also trimmed with sequins. 

“What’s this for?” I asked her. My niece shrugged, the action nonchalant. “That’s where you put pictures of your best friends.” She told me. Ah, I nodded. “So whose picture are you going to put in there?”

“Whatever!” My niece sniffed. “I am going to put a picture of myself in there. I’m my own best friend.”

Well, two snaps and a twist, I guess that she told me! But, I had to admit, after I picked my jaw and myself up off of the floor, I decided then that my niece had something to teach even a Mid Life Diva like myself.

You know, out of all of the years that I have lived and now that I have begun this new journey through Mid Life Divadom, I find that I had a lot to learn about being my own best friend. Don’t get me wrong. I know the drill; I say nice things to myself most days. I take care of my health. I treat myself to alone time as often as possible, but I found that I had a lot more to learn about being my own best friend. I had to learn that I needed to be kinder to myself. To baby “my baby” - me.

Most days we are more polite, more considerate, and more forgiving to a perfect stranger than we are to ourselves. We smile at the cute guy at the corner coffee stand every morning but barely acknowledge our own reflection each morning with a grunt and a frown.

So, I am learning to baby my baby. Nurture myself, smile at myself. Congratulate myself on a job well done. Or encourage myself should I fall short, telling myself without beating myself up, that I will do better next time. I find that when I am nicer to me, I am nicer to others. And when I am nicer to others, this makes me feel more confident, more able to deal with the things that come up, and they will.

This confidence means that we are confident and happy with ourselves, as we are, feeling unique, special, confident and competent.

Maintaining high esteem may be a challenge for Mid Life Divas as things change, demands on our time increase rather than decrease. Time seems to speed up rather than slowing down, something this Mid Life Diva thought that she was looking forward to but am finding that now is the time when things are getting really interesting. 

Some of us are often taking care of children, parents, maybe even grandchildren. Technological changes, decreasing resources, increasing demands at work, even our own high standards. All things that could potentially lead to crash and burn, unless we learn to baby ourselves. Be our own best friends.

I am learning to focus on what I do well, instead of trying to do everything. Do well in what is important to me.

Returning back to the adults in the kitchen, I teased my sister that when I grew up, I wanted to be just like my niece. Well, unless I can be Tina Turner when I grow up. That’s a different story.
My reasons are simple. My niece has the best self-image that I have ever seen in a girl of that age. She is truly her own best friend. She says that she is gorgeous; she says that she is smart. She is truly unstoppable. If she’s said it, it must be so.

Definitely a role model to aspire to be.

Mid Life Divas, how are you “babying your baby?” How are you being kinder to yourself? Got a comment about the column or just want to share some words wisdom with other Mid Life Divas? Share it with us! Join in the fray. Tell us what gives your life flavor. What makes you feel alive, want to stand up and dance. We want to hear it, your stories, and your ideas. Stop by to visit, stay awhile and dish!

Advance Review by Trumillia

Advance Review by Trumillia

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Girl, Just Look At You!

Girl, just look at you, with your pretty self. You are so beautiful!

Not only are you beautiful, but you have the nerve to be talented and gifted by God. Hold your head up Girl and know that you are loved and appreciated. Don’t give the enemy any place to cause you to have low self-esteem or doubt. You are indeed fearfully and wonderfully made. This is your year to decree it and speak it! This is the year of new beginnings.

So get your step on, Girl, because God is faithful to perform all that He has promised to you! Be confident in Him and His word. The words you speak from your mouth determine your outcome. Why not speak good and positive things over your life Girl?

You are not defeated but rather you are more than a conqueror. You have been through a lot in your life and look at you now, just as pretty and as strong as ever! Oh, how blessed you are. Look what God has done and look where He has brought you from.

Begin to bless God and praise Him for all that He has done, and for making you so beautiful! He had you in His precious hands all the time. Your life is orchestrated by Him.

He knows you and what is best for you Believe that He has even greater things in store for you and your family. Girl, get over the silly stuff and grab hold of faith. Seek God as never before. Sure, times are hard, but God is Good! Learn to love who He has made you to be. There is no one like YOU.

– Author Unknown

Single at Mid Life - And Crazy As ...

Heck. Heck is what I meant to say. As if my journey through MidLife Divadom did not come with enough “obstacles”, recently I read an article on the Everyday Health.com public site. The article, Being Single In Midlife Could Raise Your Risk For Dementia, published on July 30 by HealthDay News raised the alarm, stating that if you are single and in your 40s, it might be a healthy idea to get married.

What? No really, and the article had “research” to back up their claims. The results of the studies featured in the article are expected to be released August 6th at the Alzheimer’s Association’s National Medical and Scientific Advisory Council.

Said experts state that unmarried middle-aged people are more likely to develop cognitive impairment than their partnered counterparts are. That the process of “ruminating about life” could actually protect your brain. According to the research, Midlifers with partners have a 50 percent lower risk of showing signs of senility in late life compared to those who lived alone, those who stayed single their entire lives have double the risk of dementia while those who were divorced from midlife onward tripled their risk. 

States study author Krister Hakansson, “Living in a couple means that you are confronted with other ideas, perspectives and needs. You have to compromise, make decisions and solve problems together with someone else, which is more complicated and challenging. It is probably easier to get stuck in your own habits and routines if you live by yourself”.

What??? I guess, once you are alone, the brain turns to mush because you have nothing else to think about? Oh goodness! I guess having a life of one’s own does not count for much anymore!

In my own defense, I think that I am – for now – going to hold out for further proof. Meanwhile, I have a ton of things to “ruminate over” that may more than help stave off an impending dual with sanity. I have more than enough things that actually drive me crazy to keep me from going crazy.

The Teenage Wonder also known as Son begins college in a week. He will – sheltered child that he is – be responsible for getting himself to the University – on time, everyday. He will be responsible for himself, which makes the Enabler in me CRAZY! However, same Teenage Wonder wants to wear the “big boy pants” of being a “grown-up” while asking me for money and what is for dinner – all in the same breath. Crazy!

Then, there is the up and down dance at the gasoline pumps, a constant “spin the wheel” as I guess how much it will cost me to fill up the tank of my “mini-SUV” this time.

There is the fluctuating weight scale that testifies to more “off days” and less “On days” as hormones does a number on my once athletic build. And let’s talk about those hot flashes. That is enough to drive anybody crazy!

Then, there is the political race, the never-ending political dance.

In addition, I have three sisters – three very strong-willed, opinionated sisters who never fail to make their views known. Need I say more about these women?

I have work that keeps me stimulated, friends who keep me motivated and one Phenomenal Mother who keeps me real. I have more than enough things that actually drive me crazy to worry about going crazy.

Yes, I have more than enough things that keep me stimulated, if these things are not going to help me fight off dementia, then I am doomed!